The car's fine. I paid $500 to have the damn water pump replaced. Keeping busy with school and work and club shit.

Im starting to think I heading in the wrong direction. Biology major? I'm not going to be a doctor that travels to remote countries to deliever babies and set broken bones. I don't want to do research to find the cure for AIDS and/or breast cancer. I'm going to be a damn ecologist/ environmentalist trying to keep the ozone layer from completely disintergrating, the polar caps from melting and the rain forrest from disappearing. However the cause of all this can be traced back to the damn human beings. Humans consuming the Earth and all its resources at record speed. We aren't anything more than animals. Greedy animals blinded by the desire to collect and horde material goods and to fuck our neighbor's wife in the process. I have no clue about what's going on in the Middle East or in Washington DC. Hell I dont even know what's happening with Arnold in Sacramento! (Maybe I just don't want to believe he was actually elected to office...)

What if its too late though? What if by the time I'm actually done with schooling, when I finally have a degree, what if we've reached the point of no return? Maybe we're crossing the Rubicon at this moment and we don't even realize it. Or worse yet, we DO know it but we choose to ignore the fact that we fuck ourselves inthe ass. Throughout high school I tried to establish a fucking environmental club but even my friends didn't get involved- hell most of them didn't even care.

Why should I care? Because of guilt? Because some higher being that may or may not exist might punish me even after death? Because I know I should try anyway?


Maybe I just want to feel like Im better than everybody else . . .

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