Finally,  the guys side of the story.

      We always  hear "the rules" from the female
side. Now here are the  rules from the male  side. These are our rules!
Please note...these  are all numbered "1"  ON  PURPOSE!

      1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big
girl. If it's up,  put  it down. We need it up, you need it down. You
don't hear us complaining  about you leaving it down.

      1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or
the changing of the  tides.  Let it be.

      1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no,  we are
never going to think of  it that way.

      1. Crying is  blackmail.

      1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on
this one:   Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious
hints do not work! Just say it!

      1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost  every
      question.

      1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help  solving it.
      That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are  for.

      1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a  doctor.

      1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible  in an argument.  In
      fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

      1. If you won't  dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
      us to act like soap opera  guys.

      1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.   Don't ask  us.

      1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
      ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other   one.

      1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
      done.  Not both. If you already  know best how to do it, just do it
      yourself.

      1. Whenever possible, please  say whatever you  have to say during
      commercials.

      1. Christopher Columbus  did not need directions   and neither do we.

      1. ALL men see in only 16  colors, like Windows default settings.
      Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a  color. Pumpkin is also a
      fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

      1. If it  itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

      1. If we ask what is wrong and  you say "nothing," we will act like
      nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but  it  is just not worth the
      hassle.

      1. If you ask a question you don't want  an answer to, expect an
      answer you don't want to hear.

      1. When we have to  go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
      fine...Really.

      1. Don't ask  us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
      discuss such topics as  baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
      trucks.

      1. You have enough  clothes.

      1. You have too many shoes.

      1. I am in shape. Round is a  shape.

      1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
      couch tonight, but did you know men really don't  mind that, it's like
      camping.

      Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a  laugh.

      Pass this to as many women as you can - to give
them a bigger  laugh!!

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